Brothers, Gorillas, and Things that Go BUMP in the Night
The odd guy in the bow tie, yup that’s my brother. I’ve known the man for 52 years. I can tell I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Seriously, do you know how long it took to house break him?
He’s our chief cook, bottle washer, and the production manager for the WHH Ranch Company. Not to mention one hell of a brother.
I remember when we came to visit our Grandpa and Grandma in Shepherd. Dad’s parents which we didn’t get to visit often. We travelled around a LOT and getting back to Texas wasn’t always easy. We certainly visited before and there are pictures for proof. Sadly I was a bit too young to remember those previous trips. This one however, yeah it stuck.
Later our first night Grandma opened the windows in the bedroom where Will and I would sleep and brought in a old blue metal fan she placed at the foot of the bed we would share. We ate dinner that night complete with the same salsa we sell to this day. After dinner we both took baths and got ready for bed.
It was just a little after dark the first time we heard the Gorilla on the back porch. You read that right dear reader. There was a Gorilla on the back porch. I can’t say I ever actually saw him. I can say the both of us heard him quite clearly. He made obvious Gorilla noises and whatever jumped on that back porch must have weighed around 500 pounds. By the second time we heard the sweet serenade of the porch dwelling simian we fled from that room at a speed that wouldn’t be achieved again by a human until Usain Bolt won the Gold.
I have to be honest here. There’s a slim possibility that we may not have actually been the would be victims of a pin Piney Woods roaming East Texas Gorilla. The fact is both of our parents, our Grand Parents, and at least 3 of our uncles swear what we heard were the combined effects of a “hoot owl” and “Boots” our Grandpa’s dog. I do have another theory that involves no dogs, owls, and absolutely ZERO Gorillas. That would be our Dad.
You see our Dad, God love him, was a NOTORIOUS prankster. A trait my children are sad to say is apparently hereditary (they were attacked by a window scratching Sasquatch). It’s really nothing short of a miracle that my brother and I are as well adjusted as we are.
So it’s not exactly beyond the realm of possibility that Dad and possibly our Uncle Buddy were playing a joke. I can also say that in all the years I’ve now lived in Shepherd I’ve yet to cross paths with another wooly deck loving primate. I’ll also add that not even ONCE have I heard the gentle hoot of ANY OWL. Under those circumstances I think it’s only prudent then that I raise a skeptical eye or two in my father’s direction.
So no more gilding the lily and I’m leaving all the adieu on the back porch for the Gorilla. And devoid of small Hamzy children a porch Gorilla’s gotta eat something. Anyhow, I proudly present to you…
What You Need:
- 1 Jar – Buckaroo Whizzer®
- 1 pkg – Brie Cheese (You can substitute cream cheese if the mood strikes you)
- 1 loaf – French bread
- Olive Oil
- Butter (softened)
What You Do:
1) Wash your hands and then preheat the oven to 350°.
2) Slice the French Bread 1/2 inch thick.
3) Lay your bread slices out on a cookie sheet, drizzle with Olive Oil and Slather with butter.
4) Bake at 350° for 12-14 minutes– just long enough to make them crispy and brown,
5) Let cool to room temperature then smear with your preferred creamy cheese. Use a fork to plop a little Buckaroo Whizzer on top.
6) Garnish with avocado slices, diced tomato or cilantro.